Black, Blonde, Asian, or Other — Gawked at While Traveling the World
This past Saturday, while scrolling through Instagram, I stopped in my tracks at a picture of Oneika Raymond. The picture was lovely, but the words are what lured me in and kept me reading (and replying) to comments for almost an hour. The topic? Oneika gave a candid recap of her experience as a black woman traveling in Uzbekistan. Responses on “otherness” came flooding in from readers across the globe. Today I’d like to share voices on the topic: Black, Blonde, Asian, or Other — Gawked at While Traveling the World.
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Introducing Oneika the Traveller
It was last March when I first stumbled across Oneika’s online presence. Travel writer, author, and activist Rick Steves had posted a question on his blog: “How’s Europe lately for black travelers?”Β
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Here’s the text from Rick’s post:
"I like to offer tips for travelers with various backgrounds and interests. But one topic I obviously canβt discuss from personal experience is what itβs like for black travelers in Europe. Iβd love to host a sharing of experiences that black travelers are having in todayβs Europe β particularly with the tragic rise of anti-immigrant sentiment in many countries. Are there places or situations where you feel especially comfortable... or uncomfortable? What helpful trip-planning resources or advice can you share? Are things changing? And in general, do you feel that the color of your skin affects the interactions you have in Europe these days?"
I eagerly read through the answers, wanting to learn more about the varied experiences fellow travelers are having abroad. One comment stood out amongst the rest for me: a lengthy and well-written reply from Oneika Raymond, known as “Oneika the Traveler” on Facebook. Here are some snippets of her response:
Traveling While Black
"As a travel writer who has journeyed to nearly 100 countries on 6 continents I've written loads about what it's like to travel the world as a black woman. From the stares, to the touching, to the instant celebrity my black skin has accorded me in certain places, it's been very interesting to say the least!Β But to chat about Europe specifically: I've travelled extensively across the continent over the last 15 years, even spending 4 years total in France and the UK. With the exception of an incident in Dublin (where a couple of locals jeered at me and made racially inappropriate jokes as I walked down the street), my experiences travelling as a black woman across the continent have been overwhelmingly positive. ... It's very important to note that my positive experiences "Travelling While Black" in Europe aren't necessarily reflective or representative of race relations in most European countries.Β For one, as a black woman I'm likely to receive better treatment than my black male counterparts, who are stereotyped in the media as being "dangerous", "criminal", "threatening". Secondly, as a tourist, I'm not privy to the systematic racism black migrants and citizens actually residing in the country face on a longer-term basis.Β And thirdly, my status as a tourist from a "desirable" part of the world (at least economically) nets me better treatment as well."
Ever since reading the above post, I’ve been following Oneika’s travels via her Instagram account, which is how I ended up down that read-and-replyΒ rabbit hole late Saturday night.
So first let me share Oneika’s comment that lured me in.
Traveling While Black in Uzbekistan
"To say that being a black tourist here is "interesting" is a huge understatement. I've been in Uzbekistan for a week (in 4 different cities) and have not seen one other black person. Not even one. And yet I have seen every other race/ethnicity en masse. To be clear, this is not a problem for me, though comical given it's 2018. I'm made acutely aware of my dark skin from the moment I leave my hotel. The "othering" is INTENSE. In 7 days people have asked to take my photo at least 100 times. I'm not being hyperbolic.
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"There are stares. Eyes widen. Jaws drop. There have even been audible gasps of surprise. They have never seen someone who looks like me up close, in real life. Frankly, it's funny to watch. They scurry up to me, phone in anxious palm, desperate to capture my image in digital form. A little girl tried to touch my skin. In truth, these reactions don't bother me. I am used to them from traveling to India and Indonesia, from living in China for 5 years and in Northern Mexico for 1, and from journeying to other places where the presence of African-descended people is the exception, not the rule. And as a voracious traveler myself I know all about the enrapturing power of curiosity, the elation of discovery, the need to connect. I take pictures of monuments, rituals, and local people, with their permission.
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"What HAS been annoying is the laughing and pointing when I walk past. While it hasn't happened often, the sneaky photos that are taken of me without permission are frequent. At best, it feels mean-spirited and childish, at worst, it feels like I'm a museum exhibit, or animal in the zoo. These are the interactions I don't have time for. I am not a pet, a prop, or a plaything. Respect is a universal language that we all need to learn.
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"So black people, while I encourage you to travel to Uzbekistan, I want you to know how you'll likely be received. But I also want you to know that it's okay to be uncomfortable with being othered, and that it's okay to say no to pictures, hair touching, etc. Because the burden of ambassadorship is NOT yours to bear. Have you ever stood out somewhere?"
Can you imagine not being able to leave your hotel room without being the center of SO MUCH attention? It’s like a taste of instant “celebritydom” — but not necessarily a welcome one. Thinking about Oneika’s encounters, I couldn’t help but remember the experiences shared by a recent interviewee on my Spotlight Traveler series. In that interview we learned about Lena Papadopolous’ time living in a small village in Tanzania.
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Traveling While White in Tanzania
Here is an excerpt of Lena’s words from that post:
"I got a lot of attention as a white woman. People always wanted to talk to me and ask me questions. I was followed down the road pretty much anytime I went outside. It was never malicious or ill-intended in any way; people were just curious to know more about me.Β But Iβm a shy, introverted person who doesnβt like a lot of attention, so it started to feel incredibly overwhelming.
After a few months, I never wanted to leave my house. I felt this need to withdraw and avoid contact with the outside world."
Reading Oneika’s Uzbekistan story also sent me on a roundtrip flight to my own childhood memories. Encounters from my five years spent living abroad in three South Korean cities — Busan, Seoul, and Daegu — came bubbling to the surface. I typed up a reply to Oneika, sharing my story of being the “other”:
"You've reminded me of when I lived in Busan, South Korea, when I was ten years old. In those days, I don't think there were many Westerners heading to those parts, and we could not leave the house without getting tons of attention and stares all the time. For my blonde-haired, blue-eyed older [older] sister, the attention level was ridiculous. Our house was on the low part of a hill, and people would walk by on the street above, and stop in crowds to look [down] at us while we were trying to play in the yard. I would try to hide behind things when that would happen. There was a kid who would send love letters down to us in a can attached to a string that he'd lower into our yard. Sometimes there would be little gifts in the can. As you say, it was never malicious. Just curiosity. I actually have a lot of empathy for celebrities these days because of that experience growing up. They can't ever leave the house without being gawked at and stalked by paparazzi, yet many people find it hard to empathize with celebrities -- as if their fame makes them ineligible for compassion."
As an afterthought, I pondered what I’dΒ learned about Korean culture during my five years of living there. A primary point as relates to this discussion came to mind: staring is not considered rude in Korea. It’s just a sign of interest and of curiosity. Once my eyes had been opened to that perspective, my opinion of all those unbroken gazes in our direction changed completely. I saw it in an entirely new light. And reading Oneika’s story, I then wondered if it could be a similar cultural scenario in Uzbekistan?
Then, I got sucked into reading more comments, BIG TIME. Here are samples of those that left an impression on me.
One woman with the username oreoo399Β wrote:
"Now I feel bad for staring and running after the solo white man in my small town in Nigeria as a 5 year old. His name was Bill. A grad student. We had never seen a white man prior to him in flesh. Only on TV!!!"
Later, a Jamaican woman’s experience in Florida had me gasping, and then smiling.
“I love traveling and destroying negative stereotypes about Jamaicans”
Here’s a condensed excerpt of what the1jamaicangal wrote:
"I remember ... when I traveled to FL for the first time. I was 21/22 (about 20 years ago)... While waiting [in line for the Dumbo ride at Disney World], these two little girls came up wide eyed and innocent, one clutching her stuffed animal, and said βcan I touch you?β I looked over at her Mother, who was now a washed with horror, I ... smiled and said βsureβ. She then announced to everyone in earshot 'look Mommy it doesnβt rub off!'
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"I assured her Mother with a nod and a smile that it was OK. That little girl was so fascinated by me that she also wanted to sit with me on the ride. I later found out that the family resides in the mid-west which would explain a lot. I can only hope that that experience created an open minded young woman and it hasnβt stopped me from experiencing the world, in fact, quite the opposite...I love traveling and destroying negative stereotypes about Jamaicans."
Traveling While Asian in North America
We were given some Asian perspective in the comments as well. Here’s one fromΒ choiboy413:
"Yup (Asian here). I don't mind it much either. It's amusing for me too. I've had a bus full of middle school mexican students in Guadalajara all yell out to get my attention on a street corner and start bowing with hands flat together yelling chinito. I think it's important to keep in mind that most parts of the world aren't as politically correct as the US/Canada and haven't gone through civil rights movements and growing pains of [a] multicultural society."
I couldn’t resist replying toΒ @choiboy413Β with my own experiences:
"So true. Travel teaches us that there are different norms around the world, so we can see things with new eyes. For example, I learned from living abroad that staring is not considered rude in some places, so when you know that it totally changes how you perceive the experience of being stared at."
Then I read a comment from,Β @bryncoffee, who wrote about her time in China:
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Traveling While Blonde in China
"Living in China I endured a lot of stares! Tall and blonde will get you that! One of my Chinese students talked about when he was in Italy and everyone would stare at himβI told him thatβs how it was for me in China. Itβs all relative and we all experience it depending on where we go. When I was in Japan at age 14, I remember these two men snickering and laughing at me when I purchased an item at the cash register. Teenagers in China would also laugh and snicker and point depending on where in China I was. ... We are all so similar though and focusing on our similarities rather than differences is the way to unite us."
Traveling While Black in Asia
Another traveler,Β froonthego, gave us an insight into her experiences in Asia. [She also let me use her fabulous saree-wearing-women pic as the feature image, so thank you for that,Β froonthego!]
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"I relate to the caption. I used to live in Asia and have been stared at a lot. People have lined up to take photos with me, and some have even handed me their children without asking (I wrote about this in a post somewhere). I understand that encountering someone who looks very different is fascinating and exciting (hell, these encounters are often amusing for me, too), but being constantly objectified in such a way is exhausting when you simply want to walk down the street, breathing and minding your own doggone business."
White Privilege?
And then another commenter,Β mollyfleck, shared her thoughts on white privilege with Oneika:
"This is definitely an aspect of my white privilege I hadnβt even thought about until recently. I love to travel, and though I have received stares because of my race in areas without significant tourism, I have never - and probably will never - had people try to touch me and take photos with me."
Our blonde traveler, bryncoffee, stepped in toΒ reply with her take on the matter:
"Have you been to china?! I lived there for two years and had men chasing me for pictures, babies thrust in my arms, and many adults want a photo with the tall blonde woman! Itβs definitely not white privilege-it depends where you travel to and the exposure of the people in that country to different types of people."
Other Forms of Otherness
It wasn’t only Asians,Β blacks, and blondes typing their stories in the thread beneath Oneika’s Uzbekistan post. One man summarized his experiences of getting gawked at because of his height:Β
"Not because of my skin colour but Iβm pretty small (due to scoliosis) at about 145cm and I get plenty of stares which can get a little tiresome after a while."
A lesbian couple explained that they are able to be more expressive of their relationship in some parts of the world, but have to hide it in others. And yet another commenter called attention to the gawking obese Americans can receive in Europe.
All of these observations gave me plenty of food for thought. I appreciated everyone taking the time to share their stories and perspectives from around the world. And as an American, I got to thinking about seeing the world through an American lens.Β
An American Point of View
We live in such a melting pot of a country that is also hyper focused on political correctness. As Americans — and I’m using “Americans” to describe U-S-of-A-ers here — when we travel to places elsewhere in the world, we are seeing them with our American eyes and our American standards of how things should be. We’re also approaching situations with our American views about what is considered respectful. So we are judging these encounters with our American expectations.
In the US, it’s considered rude to stare. This isn’t necessarily the case in every place. In some corners of the world, staring could just be a sign of curiosity, for example. In some cultures giggling is a normal reaction to novelty, and not necessarily thought of as impolite. By contrast, it’s considered pretty disrespectful to laugh at someone in the US.
Travel Broadens Our Perspective
Learning the lessons travel teaches us can feel exhausting at times. But gaining awareness of the ways in which norms vary by destination can completely change our perceptions of such encounters.
I want to thank Oneika for sharing her experiences in such a candid way. I not only enjoyed reading all of the comments and learning about the different encounters people have had around the world, but this dialogue is also a needed one. We’re all in the process of learning from one another, and this discussion was excellent for gaining further insight.
For me, another takeaway on the topic pertains to the concepts of “otherness” and “othering,” which have become trending conversation topics in the United States as we discuss our own societal norms. But these concepts haven’t necessarily traveled the world over.
Even with information technology being what it is in the 21st century, we still aren’t all having the same conversations across the planet. Conversations and social concepts don’t always traverse country lines or language barriers. That takes time. But by having these conversations, it’s possible that we’re creating bridges of awareness, one person at a time.
In her Uzbekistan post, Oneika wrote, “the burden of ambassadorship is NOT yours to bear.” But I think the burden might very well be all of ours to bear. So whether you’re blonde in China, Asian in a sea of Caucasians, a white man in Africa, or a black woman in Uzbekistan, we can all take this moment to hear each other and to learn about our common humanity from these shared experiences. As Oneika says, “Respect is a universal language that we all need to learn.”
What do you think? Have you had a similar experience? Please share your stories and thoughts in the comments section.Β And don’t forget to share if you care to!
In other news, you may remember the pilgrimage I took on myΒ solo trip to Morocco two years ago, as I was searching for information about my deceased birth father (who was Moroccan). I’m excited to tell you that I’ll be back in Morocco next month, and this time I’m bringing my sister with me! We’ll be sharing pictures and stories of our travels in both Morocco and in Spain on Facebook and Instagram, so please join us!
Until next time, happy travels!
A very very very interesting post! I’m an Indian and I’m constantly trying to tell white travelers, when they consider visiting India, that though Indians might stare at them, most are just harmless, because we are just curious! I was stared at in a small village in Wales where I was the only brown woman! Its exactly the same! People in general are not dangerous or harmful, just curious!!!
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Thanks for sharing this beautiful story. Sometimes when we travel we experience some differences and little of awkwardness. When I was in Thailand, I was often mistaken as local and they won’t speak to my French boyfriend. However, these are part of the experiences that we should embrace, and not feel disappoint early. Have fun on every moment of your trip.
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your perspective, Blair!
This is a really important conversation, so thank you for bringing attention to it. Gabby Beckford has started talking about traveling as a mixed race individual lately too, and she kind of experiences a lot of the different perspectives highlighted above because as a mixed race individual, there are days when she looks more white and days when she looks more black, depending on how she does her hair, makeup, etc. Personally, I’ve noticed that in extremely homogenous countries (most places outside of Europe and North America), most people find it impossible to believe that someone with an Asian appearance could be from the United States. I think spending our entire lives in such a melting pot (at least for those who live in major cities in the US and across Europe), we sometimes forget that there are people around the world who have never seen someone who doesn’t look just like them. I love Oneika’s approach to not take any of the stares or comments personally and either humor them or understand where they’re coming from and know that they mean no harm or offense.
Super interesting article Stefania. I must say that in general I’ve never felt uncomfortable when traveling abroad, apart from a trip to India and Nepal when locals kept stopping me and my friend to take pictures with us. At first it felt weird, but then we used it as a great conversation starter π
I love your approach to this, Val! It is a great opportunity for starting conversations! And for me that is the main point of travel — to connect across cultures! Thanks for sharing your thoughts!π
This is a really interesting topic and one as a white male I can’t relate to at all. I have no idea what it would be like to be stared at or made to feel noticeably different. Being gay we sometimes have to keep appearances in check, particularly in some very conservative countries, but even this type of thing I think is different for woman, i.e. two men travelling together in the middle east is perfectly normal.
Thanks for sharing how things look from your lens, Paul. I hadn’t really thought of it in terms of gender differences, but maybe the gawking is something that’s experienced to a greater degree by women? I’d be interested to hear more thoughts on this aspect of the topic!
A really interesting post to read and learn about people’s different experiences from around the world. As a blond and blue eyed female travelling in remote parts of India earlier this year, I often experienced stares/people wanting to have a photo with me and touch my hair and skin. Their curiosity was mostly harmless and did not bother me, however I did feel uncomfortable when people tried to take photos without me noticing or secretly filming me. Coincidentally, I currently live in Korea now! I think things have changed a lot since you were younger, as now there are many Westerners living here. I do however receive a few stares now and then when visiting more remote cities or towns.
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Oh wow! It’s great to hear from someone currently living in Korea! I would love to go back so much! I keep hearing about how much it’s changed and how cosmopolitan Seoul is now! Thanks for sharing your experience, Rosie! π
This is a fantastic piece which shows us the experience from so many different perspectives. I understand why people may feel objectified when others chase them for photos just because they look different.I completely agree that travel indeed broadens mindset, it has done mine
Thank you, Sinjana! Well, the encounters sure do make for interesting stories. And we are always learning new things about the world and about each other. Thanks for stopping by!
I have so many similar stories (mostly positive) from living in Japan and travelling in China/Mongolia. I think it has actually changed quite a lot in Japan over the last 10 years. Nowadays seeing foreigners in Tokyo is no big deal, and meeting people that don’t look Japanese, but speak Japanese doesn’t freak people out (most of the time…)
I’ve had people ask for photos/give me their babies to hold without asking in China. It’s pretty funny really.
Thanks for stopping by, Josy! I still haven’t personally experienced the baby-handoff! Haha! Although I have had my fair share of other interesting encounters! Thanks for sharing your experiences. P.S. I really hope to finally make it beyond the airport in Tokyo one of these days! π